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Scientists Have Found a neurotoxin in pipe rust that turns people gay?

By Mike Hunt
Published On August the 11th 2020 at 5:52pm

According To the island's most highly rated marine biologist at Republican Plumbing Ltd. A new chemical compound called carbonium nitrate has been discovered.

While it is found in other places carbonium nitrate is most prominently evident in rusty pipes. The marine biologist tested the levels of carbonium nitrate in households across the island. After testing he found out that houses with high amounts of carbonium nitrate in their pipes were more likely to have a gay person living there.

After more testing it was found that moving to a house with a high amount if carbonium nitrate in the pipes had a high chance of turning gay within the first month of moving.

After making this shocking discovery the marine biologist tested all five avaliable pipe cleaning methods on the island to see if they would get rid of the carbonium nitrate. The marine biologist was disappointed to discover that even after cleaning the pipes there was still the same amount of carbonium nitrate, meaning that it could still turn people gay.

Although Carbonium Nitrate does not travel through the air it travels through the water, thus causing people who drink the water to become homosexual.

The Marine Biologist is quoted saying "correlation is not causation, so I will run more tests to see if the pipe rust is turning people gay. But better safe then sorry. Also new carbonium nitrate free pipes are now half price at Republican Plumbing Ltd. installation fees will be waived to help the citizens through this crisis."